This Cab Ain't Safe
by Cradlerobber Speedo-kun
Summary: A songfic about Mei-Lin's expirience on a taxi in Japan. The song itself is a parody of another song and is a real scream. PG for violence against cab drivers and saying the other heck word.


A/N: This is a pretty odd fanfic, I'll admit. Well, when you do a songfic on the song "Cab on Fire" (parody of "Hearts on Fire") by The Dork Side of the Tune (also a parody on the band called The Dark Side of the Moon) it'll probably turn out a bit weird. Of course, at least I'm not doing the songfic on the song about a 1984 Chrysler that's in an up-beat Irish march tune! That'll be a bit later.... :)  
  
Oh, yeah, and Mei-Lin is wickedly OOC, but this really wasn't meant to be a song applied to a fanfic about her, so oh well. And anyway, it's for laughs. and yes, I know Sakura ends up with Syaoron, but I liked Syaoron and Mei-Lin better together.  
  
  
  
This Cab Ain't Safe  
  
By Sailor Chibi Saturn aka Speedo  
  
  
  
Hey Taxi Driver,  
  
This Cab Ain't Safe.  
  
Mei-Lin didn't really like taxis in Japan. Ever since she had rode from the airport to Syaoron and Wei's she had disliked them. She hadn't had much of a choice, though, since the bus wasn't going where she needed to go, and anyway, she really didn't like public transportation. But she regretted not choosing to walk now, for the taxi itself didn't seem too safe, and the driver didn't seem like he had really earned his drivers' license.  
  
Just let me out here,  
  
At this decent place.  
  
She had asked if he would let her out a couple miles back, but he refused because it was what he called "A Dangerous place for young ladies." and when Mei-Lin realized where they were, she sure changed her mind.  
  
I need to tell ya,  
  
You should be fined!  
  
You know something smells like burnt ignition wires!  
  
And then there was that funny smell that smelled like something was burning. At first she thought it was coming from outside, but she wasn't so sure now....  
  
THIS CAB IS ON FIRE!!!!  
  
And then she was sure of it. The taxi was on fire!!!  
  
I'm getting out of here,  
  
This ride's free!  
  
You got four bolt tires,  
  
You might as well drive a Christmas Tree!  
  
She seriously wanted to get out now, but they were in a tunnel now and she was sure the driver wouldn't let her out here.  
  
Aww man, what's that reak?  
  
Hasn't this guy ever heard of deodorant?  
  
And on top of it, it was really starting to smell. Very badly.  
  
Driving through the heat,  
  
I can smell your feet!  
  
Yeah, they're like a toilet plunger!  
  
It was also getting uncomfortably hot, and even when they exited the tunnel it smelled and was hot. Mei-Lin just sighed and decided to endure it. She was only a quarter mile away from her destination now, and she could hold her breath so she couldn't smell the stink and just endure the heat.  
  
Riding yellow lights,  
  
Passing on the right.  
  
Could you be any dumber?!  
  
But suddenley, the guy started to drive like a maniac, running through the red lights and swerving around everyone. "LET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed, in dire fear of her life. But the cabbie didn't seem to notice her perilous screams at all and kept on driving like a fruitcake.  
  
Some cabs are good,  
  
Some cabs are bad.  
  
But I think you're pissed,  
  
And I'm getting mad.  
  
No longer was Mei-Lin afraid. No. She decided she was VERY angry!!!!!!!!  
  
You drove right through that,  
  
Last stop sign!  
  
From now on pal,  
  
The bus is what I'll ride!  
  
"You idiot! Your driving stinks! Your taxi stinks! YOU stink! LET ME OUT NOW!"  
  
I hope you get fired!  
  
When still in park,  
  
You squashed an old goose!  
  
But the man kept driving and nearly ran over some birds. "I HOPE YOU GET FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Mei-Lin screamed, beating with her fists on the back of his seat, which burst apart and the inside cushionings started to fall out.  
  
How did you get hired?  
  
Some dink musta licensed you, yeah!  
  
Mei-Lin kept yelling at the driver, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE, LET ALONE HOW DID YOU GET HIRED???!!!"  
  
Yeah, thanks for nothing!  
  
Thank god that's over!  
  
Finally, the cab came to a halt. Mei-Lin practically leapt out of the door and slammed it. "No tip for you!" The guy drove off, crashing into a hot dog stand and getting it caught on the mirror, dragging it along until he was out of sight, an angry old man yelling and running after him.  
  
"Syaoron-kun!" Mei-Lin yelled happily, running to him and hugging him. She then felt suddenley very dizzy and her legs buckled. "Mei-Lin?! Are you okay?" She nodded crookedly, "Yes-es.... never ride on a taxi in Japan.... they are bad-add-add..." 


End file.
